How do we handle true forgiveness when the other side is not willing to repent? This is one of life’s most challenging areas (at least for me)… I don’t believe that there is any certain formula because every situation and relationship looks different but there are a few MUSTS that must be considered if you’re looking for freedom.

First and most important, forgiveness is not always necessarily earned, it’s a choice! Its a sacrifice! When everything inside of us screams NO! So far from fair!
Forgiveness is especially difficult when the relationship is also difficult. There are people that are so easy to get along with and when they mess up and say sorry it’s not so much of a sacrifice to forgive but what about those people in your life that are a challenge to even get along with… The Bible says two things about forgiveness that are very important. The first thing is that we must forgive! And the second thing it says is that if we don’t, we WILL be handed over to the Tormentor. (if that doesn’t scare you then look up the definition for torment)

Communication is another huge key… Communicating with the person that you have offense towards or unforgiveness. Many times when we’ve been holding in bitterness and unforgiveness toward someone we begin to see them through a deceptive lens. Even when they mean well or their motives are pure we see them as our enemy. Once we begin to communicate effectively and in love with one another the lies and deception that we see and hear begin to lose their power.

One of the most important things that I have done in this area for myself is seeking God in the issue on behalf of both of us. God knows both of us better than we know ourselves and he sees clearly. He has the master key to both locks! Most situations are two- sided. He is the creator of the masterpiece. He knows our hearts, our motives, our thoughts, our pain and even the extent of our problem beyond our own understanding. He restores and brings truth. God is love.
Many times I go to Him and ask him to change me throughout the process and not necessarily the other person. When he changes me it changes the other person. We are responsible before God on how we choose to handle ourselves and they are responsible before God on how they choose to handle themselves. Do you not think that you would have favor in his eyes
If you went to him and asked him what YOU could do differently? This is what spiritual maturity looks like. I cannot tell you what the Lord has shown me about myself through this process. Walking in humility and being obedient to the two greatest commandments. (loving God and loving each other)

Again, yes I know each and every circumstance and person is different but this is a good place to start.

Also something else to ponder… Can you imagine back in the day what slaves had to face?

Father thank you…. You take the impossible and make it possible. You take the dead and bring it back to life. You open our eyes to see and make a way where there seems to be no way. Teach me how to walk out this way of life. Show me how to love. Open my eyes to see through that individual eyes. How can I get creative God? What should I be doing that I’m not doing? Teach me how to let go of that pain and lay it down. Heal me Lord. Help me to start over and let go of the past so that it doesn’t show up in my attitude. Do inside of both of us what only you can do God. and forgive me for the way that I have treated them through the hurt and pain. Forgive me for only seeing my side of things. Close any doors that have been opened to the enemy and help me to keep those doors closed. In the name of Jesus, amen

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